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My brother in law got divorced a few years ago, and now he’s gotten remarried and him and his 2nd wife just had their first baby. He has 3 kids from a previous marriage.

Would it be insulting for me to give these bibs to their baby daughter?

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Ok, I’m really ticked. I’m in a long-term relationship with someone who was dishonest with me from the beginning. The ONLY reason I haven’t up and left is because we have a 16-month-old son, but to be honest, the little guy isn’t really aware of "daddy". That is because this man (like the father of my daycare provider’s son) doesn’t really understand that to really become enmeshed in the life of a child as a PARENT and someone to bond with, you have to do those things that some men think are distasteful. Like changing diapers, midnight feedings, spoon-feeding (which my significant other still cannot do), bathing, dressing. I just got out of the hospital, and for 4 and a half days, my son was taken care of by his father. My mom helped a lot, my significant other didn’t have to do much more than drop him off at my mom’s go to work, come home, get the baby, feed and bathe him, and go to sleep. I do MUCH more. On top of my health problems, I’m balancing school and work, and housework. My boyfriend doesn’t do that much.

My biggest problem with him is his dishonesty by omission (there’s some serious drama with his babymama, but he won’t tell me what it is that makes her feel the need to harass and disrespect my house the way she does…did I mention she hates my infant son?). He expects me to deal with the aftereffects of situations that happened way before me, and just smile through it. He has two daughters from a previous marriage, and the woman will not allow them to come here. He allows that to make him feel like he’s less of a father , so when they do come, they tax our already fragile expenses on clothes and more food that we can afford. But I’m suppposed to just grin and bear this.

Today was the continuation of the neverending argument of him taking care of his health. He refuses to go to the doctor, even though he has insurance. So he just goes to the ER. They treat him with dignity because they know they’ll get that money. I work myself to within feet of my grave because I do NOT have insurance (make too much to get medicaid, too little to buy it on my own, my son gets it through the state). So now I’m on the mend with no paid leave, wondering how we’ll manage, because the other woman has her hands so deep in his pockets. Tell me how a family of three is supposed to survive on a net of K a year in DC?!?!?! HOW!

My significant other just doesn’t try to do better, to be positive. He sees everything as an inconvenience, treats my son like a good-luck talisman (he’s a prince, let him do what he wants, because he’s a boy and named after his father….I say raise the child with love, but do not spoil him….his father spoils him horribly and I have to deal with the aftereffects). He notices everything that’s wrong with everyone else, but doesn’t notice that sitting on the couch drinking a 40oz every night ignoring us (unless he wants to tease me, which I’ve asked him for two years not to), is not the way to cement a family bond. He teases my son and says, "get off the titty" when the baby cries for me, yet he himself depends on me for everything. But has the nerve to say that he can’t get sick because he has to take care of me. WTF?

I’m tempted to just up and leave with my son when my school refund check gets here. Move to another state because I’m tired of him. If I do anything other than bow my head and stroke his ego, he says we’re always arguing. I’m not arguing, I’m voicing my opinion, which I have a right to have. I am getting to the point where I can’t stand him. I was hoping that my being away would lead him to respect all that I do as a mother and how tiring it is, but all he did was stoke his pride in that he could "do it without me"…yeah with my mom doing our clothes, buying my meds and buying groceries for us. Yeah.

I’m so tired of him. He doesn’t want to try to do anything other than sit there and be defeated, and determine his own destiny by the words out of his mouth. He says that nothing ever works out for him, he believes it, he throws obstacles in his path that need not be there, and that’s why nothing ever works out. I’m tired of that, I can’t live like that.
I’m seriously considering moving out. I mean, I dream of things in a relationship that have just died here. And I get nothing but excuses from him. I cannot live my whole life with a lazy, defeated man. I just cannot. He’s killing my dreams with his laziness and negativity. And I don’t want my son to grow up to be like him.

Technorati Tags: aftereffects, babymama, clothes, daycare provider, diapers, dishonesty, disrespect, google, half days, health problems, housework, long term relationship, marriage, mom, omission, script type, sleep, spoon, text javascript, two daughters

For all those times we women get so frustrated, just think of one of these
> and you’ll start smiling or even laughing out loud!
>
> For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free.
> Here’s an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY?
> Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a
> little sausage.
> >
> > Men are like….
> >
> >
> >
> > 1. Men are like Laxatives . They irritate the crap out of you.
> >
> > 2 Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm
> >they are.
> >
> >
> >
> > 3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
> >
> >
> >
> > 4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you’re not quite
> >sure why.
> >
> >
> >
> > 5. Men are like Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they
> >usually head right for your hips.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > 6. Men are like Commercials . You can’t believe a word they
> >say.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > 7. Men are like Department Stores … Their clothes are always
> >1/2 off!
> >
> >
> > 8. Men are like . Government Bonds …. They take soooooooo
> >long to mature.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > 9. Men are like . Mascara . They usually run at the first sign
> >of emotion.
> >
> >
> > 10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a
> >little while.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > 11. Men are like Snowstorms You never know when they’re
> >coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.
> >
> > 12. Men are like Lava Lamps Fun to look at, but not very
> >bright.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > 13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken,
> >the rest are handicapped.
> >
> >
> > Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as
> >to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough
> >to know !!!!!!!!!!
> >
> >
> >
> > You have just been KISSED by the Dancing Baby! something good
> >will happen to you at 1:00-4:00 pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere. Get
> >ready for the biggest shock in your life if you break this you will not be
> >cursed but good luck will not come your way for the next year . Everyone
> >can use some fun and Good Luck so Send this to 5 people in 15min
> >
> >
> > You Got Served!>

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I have a friend who’s ex-girlfriend is claiming she is 20 weeks pregnant but won’t provide him with proof of the pregnancy. He doesn’t want anything whatsoever to do with her but would be there for the baby if there really was one. He already has a child from a previous marriage and is a very good Father to that child and would be a good Father to the ex-girlfriends baby but, he is on an emotional roller coaster because he doesn’t know if this baby really exists. No matter what he does or says, she won’t give him proof of the pregnancy. He thinks she is just playing games to try to get him back with her and that she really isn’t pregnant. How can he get proof that she is pregnant? Does he have any rights? By law does she have to give him proof?

Technorati Tags: emotional roller coaster, ex girlfriend, ex girlfriends, google, marriage, playing games, pregnancy, proof, script type, text javascript

if so how do u manage because me after work am so tired i just am not able to do all these things. i only play with the kid and feed the kid and all i want is sleep and may be have some sex. so the house help has to assist. will i ruin my marriage.?

Technorati Tags: google, marriage, script type, sleep, text javascript

Ok this is for anyone who has recently had a baby in a CA hospital. Me and my fiance are getting married this week and our baby is due in november. My question is on the baby’s birth certificate they ask for mothers maiden name but then you sign the certificate with your married name. As long as i bring our marriage certificate then i should be able to sign with married name correct? Even if i haven’t changed my name with the DMV or SS office yet?

Technorati Tags: birth certificate, dmv, fiance, google, maiden name, marriage, marriage certificate, script type, ss office, text javascript

I need advice on how to protect my daughter. I’m 48 years old and I’m getting a divorced. My future ex-husband filed a few months ago and I’ve had no choice but to follow through. We were married for 8 years and have a wonderful daughter who is 7. But 2 years ago a selfish homewrecker 20 years younger than me (and my still husband, as we are the same age) came along and destroyed everything that we had. I found out about it last year, and asked of him to leave her, which he allegedly did, but they soon got back together and next thing I knew he told me he thought WE should get separated and 6 months later asked for a divorce. We did have our problems like all couples, but our marriage was not so much on the rocks or at the verge of an imminent split, much less already over emotionally, as they claim. But the present is that we’re divorcing, he’s engaged to that "girl", and, after losing my husband to her, I feel like I’m also losing my daughter. Obviously he had our child meet his little whore and, in great part because I have gone to great lengths so as to make this time as easy and less traumatizing for my girl, she’s finding it "easy" to build a relationship with my baby. Not to mention that she is young and hip, and "fun" according to what I hear, so apparently she knows how to shorten a bridge or something. Often times when my husband has our daughter, his mistress (which is what she is as long as our divorce isn’t final) comes along, and makes my daughter laugh, and tells her nice stories, and helps her pick out clothes, and buys her treats, and watches disney movies with her, and sits her by the piano when she plays, and all kinds of crap. I know all this because when my daughter comes back home to me, she tells what she did, where she went, etc, and because she’s so young I feel I can’t tell her to leave his dad’s gf outside her comments. Obviously I gotta be thankful that this heartless bitch is not so heartless and treats my daughter well, but it also is very painful for me to see that a woman who stole my husband is working her way into my daughter’s life as well and I don’t know what to do. What am I supposed to do, how should I cope with all this? I feel so lost and hopeless, and I just wanna cry and cry all the time. I’m still in love with the man I’m divorcing, I still don’t understand what it is that I did wrong and what it is that she has and I don’t that made him choose her over me and leave me, and I still wish I could push her out of the picture and remake my family, if only for my daughter’s sake. I’m so very hurt but I would forgive him and I’d take him back, I just miss him so much and I don’t want that woman in my daughter’s life but I also can’t ask my daughter to hate her. What am I to do now? Please help.

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The long and short of it is that several months back my husband and I nearly divorced after the birth of our first child. We had been having problems for some time and had not taken steps to fix our marriage; so the birth of our son put a lot of strain on our relationship. (Note: we both love our son dearly; I am only referring to how we felt about one another)
Anyway, things reached a boiling point one night and the next day my husband said he was finished and filed for a divorce while I was away for the night on business.
Sadly, my husband used my 4 month old at the time as a pawn. Due to SC law saying that ownership in 9/10ths posession, he took my child and went to my in-laws; refusing to let me see him until our court date. The police could do nothing for me no matter how many times I called them b/c we had not yet been to court to establish custody and he was the father.
I was devastated. But, what gets me the most was that all of my in-laws, with the exception of my father in-law, got deeply involved in my marriage AND with my child. My sister in-law would call me daily to yell at me and my mother-in-law and her mother hid my child from me. I did not know where my baby was for days until the cops told her she had to tell me. When I finally did track him down, I cornered her and called the police. Again, since my husband left our child in her "care" I could not legally make her give him to me. She said if she gave me MY child that she’d never see him again. I HATED her and cried every night for three weeks, sleeping with my childs clothes.
Then in court my husbands ENTIRE family showed up. Parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and even his brothers girl friend. I was mortified still at the court granting joint custody with the stunts that my husband and his family had pulled.
Months later my husand and I finally stopped fighting and started working out our marriage with counseling. We are great now but trust will take a very long time. Much longer than love.
My problem is that my husband is SUPER close with his family. My mother-in-law watches my child while we both work and I have to drop him off to her everyday. I want to put him in daycare at this point. She pretends nothing happened but can’t hide the fake smile. My husband goes over there once a week or more for family gatherings and I go with him b/c it’s important to him for us to all be a family but in reality I hate everyone. His brother and his gf avoid me totally; his mother, sister, her fiancee and his nanny gossip about me like I can’t hear them in the other room and I don’t like any of them to touch my child while I am there.
I am trying desperately hard to put on a good front but I can’t even look them in the eyes and I have no desire to even speak to any of them. All I see when I look at my mother-in-law is her running away from me in a parking lot with my child like a crazy person.
My husband has stood up for me "supposedly" by telling them that I am his wife so they had to be nice, but that has only made everything akward b/c we have to pretend we like one another now.
I have spoken with his brother about this and he still avoids me. I have not yet spoken with the other members of his family b/c I do not think that the conversation would go well.
It was none of their business to EVER get involved with my marriage and my child. How do I truly forgive these people when I despise them underneath it all?
I’ve seen a rude comment or two on raising my own child and working and I have to say that I am a little shocked. I guess I thought with our economy veering towards depression while a gallon of milk rises to a gallon, that most households required two incomes at this point. But, to clarify for the nasties out there: I don’t use anyone as a sitter while I go out and have fun all day. I actually pay my mother in law the same amount that I would pay a daycare b/c I feel that it’s better for my child to have that undivided attention. Unfortunately, some women have to work b/c we did not marry for money. Others work b/c they enjoy it. That doesn’t make anyone a bad mother! I would give my right arm to stay home with my son all day and never have to take a business trip or watch my son cry as I leave him daily; believe me! It eats at me- much like it does many other mothers who need to work to help provide. It’s not just a man’s responsibility to take care of the bills.

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