Ok this is for anyone who has recently had a baby in a CA hospital. Me and my fiance are getting married this week and our baby is due in november. My question is on the baby’s birth certificate they ask for mothers maiden name but then you sign the certificate with your married name. As long as i bring our marriage certificate then i should be able to sign with married name correct? Even if i haven’t changed my name with the DMV or SS office yet?

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I need advice on how to protect my daughter. I’m 48 years old and I’m getting a divorced. My future ex-husband filed a few months ago and I’ve had no choice but to follow through. We were married for 8 years and have a wonderful daughter who is 7. But 2 years ago a selfish homewrecker 20 years younger than me (and my still husband, as we are the same age) came along and destroyed everything that we had. I found out about it last year, and asked of him to leave her, which he allegedly did, but they soon got back together and next thing I knew he told me he thought WE should get separated and 6 months later asked for a divorce. We did have our problems like all couples, but our marriage was not so much on the rocks or at the verge of an imminent split, much less already over emotionally, as they claim. But the present is that we’re divorcing, he’s engaged to that "girl", and, after losing my husband to her, I feel like I’m also losing my daughter. Obviously he had our child meet his little whore and, in great part because I have gone to great lengths so as to make this time as easy and less traumatizing for my girl, she’s finding it "easy" to build a relationship with my baby. Not to mention that she is young and hip, and "fun" according to what I hear, so apparently she knows how to shorten a bridge or something. Often times when my husband has our daughter, his mistress (which is what she is as long as our divorce isn’t final) comes along, and makes my daughter laugh, and tells her nice stories, and helps her pick out clothes, and buys her treats, and watches disney movies with her, and sits her by the piano when she plays, and all kinds of crap. I know all this because when my daughter comes back home to me, she tells what she did, where she went, etc, and because she’s so young I feel I can’t tell her to leave his dad’s gf outside her comments. Obviously I gotta be thankful that this heartless bitch is not so heartless and treats my daughter well, but it also is very painful for me to see that a woman who stole my husband is working her way into my daughter’s life as well and I don’t know what to do. What am I supposed to do, how should I cope with all this? I feel so lost and hopeless, and I just wanna cry and cry all the time. I’m still in love with the man I’m divorcing, I still don’t understand what it is that I did wrong and what it is that she has and I don’t that made him choose her over me and leave me, and I still wish I could push her out of the picture and remake my family, if only for my daughter’s sake. I’m so very hurt but I would forgive him and I’d take him back, I just miss him so much and I don’t want that woman in my daughter’s life but I also can’t ask my daughter to hate her. What am I to do now? Please help.

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The long and short of it is that several months back my husband and I nearly divorced after the birth of our first child. We had been having problems for some time and had not taken steps to fix our marriage; so the birth of our son put a lot of strain on our relationship. (Note: we both love our son dearly; I am only referring to how we felt about one another)
Anyway, things reached a boiling point one night and the next day my husband said he was finished and filed for a divorce while I was away for the night on business.
Sadly, my husband used my 4 month old at the time as a pawn. Due to SC law saying that ownership in 9/10ths posession, he took my child and went to my in-laws; refusing to let me see him until our court date. The police could do nothing for me no matter how many times I called them b/c we had not yet been to court to establish custody and he was the father.
I was devastated. But, what gets me the most was that all of my in-laws, with the exception of my father in-law, got deeply involved in my marriage AND with my child. My sister in-law would call me daily to yell at me and my mother-in-law and her mother hid my child from me. I did not know where my baby was for days until the cops told her she had to tell me. When I finally did track him down, I cornered her and called the police. Again, since my husband left our child in her "care" I could not legally make her give him to me. She said if she gave me MY child that she’d never see him again. I HATED her and cried every night for three weeks, sleeping with my childs clothes.
Then in court my husbands ENTIRE family showed up. Parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and even his brothers girl friend. I was mortified still at the court granting joint custody with the stunts that my husband and his family had pulled.
Months later my husand and I finally stopped fighting and started working out our marriage with counseling. We are great now but trust will take a very long time. Much longer than love.
My problem is that my husband is SUPER close with his family. My mother-in-law watches my child while we both work and I have to drop him off to her everyday. I want to put him in daycare at this point. She pretends nothing happened but can’t hide the fake smile. My husband goes over there once a week or more for family gatherings and I go with him b/c it’s important to him for us to all be a family but in reality I hate everyone. His brother and his gf avoid me totally; his mother, sister, her fiancee and his nanny gossip about me like I can’t hear them in the other room and I don’t like any of them to touch my child while I am there.
I am trying desperately hard to put on a good front but I can’t even look them in the eyes and I have no desire to even speak to any of them. All I see when I look at my mother-in-law is her running away from me in a parking lot with my child like a crazy person.
My husband has stood up for me "supposedly" by telling them that I am his wife so they had to be nice, but that has only made everything akward b/c we have to pretend we like one another now.
I have spoken with his brother about this and he still avoids me. I have not yet spoken with the other members of his family b/c I do not think that the conversation would go well.
It was none of their business to EVER get involved with my marriage and my child. How do I truly forgive these people when I despise them underneath it all?
I’ve seen a rude comment or two on raising my own child and working and I have to say that I am a little shocked. I guess I thought with our economy veering towards depression while a gallon of milk rises to a gallon, that most households required two incomes at this point. But, to clarify for the nasties out there: I don’t use anyone as a sitter while I go out and have fun all day. I actually pay my mother in law the same amount that I would pay a daycare b/c I feel that it’s better for my child to have that undivided attention. Unfortunately, some women have to work b/c we did not marry for money. Others work b/c they enjoy it. That doesn’t make anyone a bad mother! I would give my right arm to stay home with my son all day and never have to take a business trip or watch my son cry as I leave him daily; believe me! It eats at me- much like it does many other mothers who need to work to help provide. It’s not just a man’s responsibility to take care of the bills.

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If you already had a shower for your first baby during your first marriage, then had another shower for your first baby in a new marriage, is it appropriate to have yet another baby shower for your second kid in the current marriage?
But where do you draw the line? If this person plans on having 6 more babies, I have to go to 6 more showers for this one person? Isn’t that a tad much?

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I am 9 months pregnant and my husband believes baby proofing is not needed and that I am paranoid. I only want to use outlet plugs, drawer/cabinet guards where chemicals or sharp things are located and a gate guard for the top of our back deck staircase.

He has 2 children from a previous marriage and said baby proofing was never needed with them. I think its better to be safe than sorry but he won’t bend. I feel he is being too controlling but he does not agree. Any advice?

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I was just reading about the Craigslist killer and he seemed perfect. I read the book "People of the Lie" a few years ago, and the author says that most often, truly evil people are the ones you would least suspect of being so. They make every effort to look perfect (physically and in every other respect- they try to have perfect careers, beautiful houses, perfect kids- nice, neat lives…) but in real life, they are evil.

FOR EXAMPLE- I once knew this girl who was obsessive about having the perfect body, the perfect designer clothes, a perfectly decorated house, a perfect marriage to her handsome husband, perfect kids, etc. Oh, and she would go on and on about the lord and how she prays to the point of transcendence, and so forth.

SO then, her"perfect" and charming husband cheats on her and leaves her and she then shows me her baby daughter’s death certificate that said that the baby’s cause of death was from complications of past child abuse, and tells me that her husband shook the baby, cracked her ribs and dislocated her shoulder when she was 2 weeks old. He was tried and convicted of child abuse and was serving his sentence when the baby died. The DA never pursued murder charges.

My point is, she took him back, had another kid, and even later told me that she had aided in his defense at the trial. But she didn’t think that all that was important until he cheated on her and left her. Oh and then it didn’t matter again once they reconciled again. They just went right back to their "cookie cutter" life.

Sick, right?

That’s why I’m suspicious of people who make out like their lives are so perfect and that they are so perfect.

Have you ever known anybody like that?

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How did gaining the capacity to use symbols transform Helen Keller? How did this ability alter her capacity for further learning?

Distinguish between the manifest and latent functions of owning designer clothing, a fine car, or a large home.

How do the biomedical, psychological, and feminist models differ in explaining eating disorders?

What evidence does Harris offer to support his argument that defining the cow as sacred is necessary strategy for human survival in India?

What are the distinguishing factors of “class conflict”? How does this differ from other kinds of conflict, as between individuals or nations?

Describe the essential features of Gemeinschaft and Gesellschaft in order to clearly distinguish the two organizational types.

Why does romance among many low-income women not result in marriage? How do these women differ from most middle-class women who have an out-of-wedlock baby?

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Do you think waiting and planning to have a baby would contribute to better marriage success?
Do you think having an unplanned baby contributes to divorce?

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