Here’s my day: I get up at 6:15 am regardless of what day of the week it is to feed my 10 week old son. I then get him dressed, wake up my 2 year old, fix his breakfast, run through the shower, get my self ready, get my 2 year old dressed, get 2 diaper bags, my lunch, my older son’s lunch, the infant car seat, my coffee and water and get all that crap in the car and of course my kids while dropping things on the way to the car…where is my husband? In the bed snoring. If I try to wake him up to help me in the mornings, he’ll cuss me out! The other morning I started crying and said "what do I have to do, beg to get you to help me?" He replies "your begging won’t help and neither will your b_it_ch_ing!" So anyways I drop them off and go to work, where I work as a home health nurse with 25-30 patients I get to keep up with, a boss who will call me 10 times a day with more stuff to do…I get off, run home to do laundry and clean real quick before I need to get my kids, and find my husband is still there in his pajamas and now the house really is a disaster..he didn’t wake up in time to go to work today..again. After getting the kids, I do all the cleaning, fixing dinner, packing bags for the next day, playing with them, feeding them, bathing them, putting them to bed. By 10 pm I try to go out in our garage and work out for an hour (you know, to get the baby weight off), and then I come in around 11pm and finish all my charting and paperwork from my earlier work day. I am thankful if I can get to bed around 1 am. Or excuse me..my couch for the night. I have been on the couch since we came home 10 weeks ago with our new baby. We sleep in the living room, so not to disturb my husband if he wakes for a feeding during the night. At least once a month, I am on call and have to work the weekend, so that makes 12 days in a row. Like this weekend. I worked 9 hours, come home and he hasn’t done crap all day!
I can go on and on obviously..I am becoming extremely resentful towards him, I have asked him to leave several times, and he won’t. He tells me to get the "f" out. He doesn’t make enough money a month to pay the house payment, but yet I am the one that needs to leave. If I ever go a day without being cussed out or called some horrible name, pigs will have wings and fly. I am so sick of this. I feel so lonely, disrespected, degraded, taken for granted, and under/unappreciated. My husband is also a firefighter, EMT, and a diver on the water rescue team. He has the reputation of an "outstanding community member" and I truly believe his parents think he is made of gold. If I remotely make a statement that may imply his laziness and meanness, people will immediately make excuses for him like.."oh he must be so tired w/ the new baby at home." Is there anyone else out there that has a situation like mine? How do you cope with it? I am trying to view things from my husbands perspective, but still can’t understand why he yells at me all the time (in front of my 2 year old..). Also, I have two boys. I don’t want them thinking it’s normal to treat your wife like this. And yes, I have considered counseling..not sure where I would fit it in my schedule, but my husband says it’s pointless anyway.."if I would just shut up, everything would be fine".
Thoughts please.. am I overreacting?
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