Okay, so I’m 24 and my fiance, Spencer is 26, and lately, I’ve been getting sort of worried about him. He usually has a pretty high sex drive, as do I, and a lot of weeks, we’ll end up having sex almost every day. Well, usually, Spencer sort of takes the lead during sex. He’s never had a very good image of himself, even though I think he’s just perfect. He has, however, always been fairly confident in the bedroom, and I think it’s really sexy when he takes control and gets almost animalistic. He’s really passionate, and it’s often been that tearing off clothes, hair-pulling, wild sex.
Well lately, for some reason, Spencer has become really self-conscious during sex. He’s been working out a lot, because he’s never been happy with his body. All of his friends are all very skinny, while Spencer’s a bit stockier. He’s not overweight by any means. He works out and eats healthy and all; he’s just got a more solid build. He also has really defined hips for a guy, which he for some reason associates with being out of shape, which isn’t him at all. Well, since he started working out more than usual, he seems to have actually gotten more self conscious. When we have sex now, he rarely shows that animalistic side of him; he holds back, and I can tell.
He especially hates his hips; he thinks they’re feminine, when they’re not really that bad. I like them; but whenever he feels like I pay too much attention to them (Holding onto them for too long, or whatever), he shies away. He’s so passive now, and I’ve asked him what’s wrong, but he just tells me, "Everything is fine, baby." I just want him to be how he was before, because I miss it. He just has this warped perception of himself lately, and it shows the most in the bedroom. Once the clothes come off, he gets shy and passive. It’s not that he’s bad in bed now; he’s still amazing. It’s just that I know it’s not him, and I like seeing that wild side of him that he hides the rest of the time. What should I do to make him realize that I think he’s sexy just how he is? I just want him to feel confident again. What should I do?
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