Am I being unreasonable but I feel that my partners step son ( we are not married but live together with my young daughter and one on the way) is so spoilt and feel that my daugther and our forth coming child together are being neglected.
When I met my other half my daugther (from a previous) was 7 months old. I worked extremly hard juggeling a business and raising a daughter from a failed relationship. I met D (the other half) through work. After a year together we realised that we were very much in love so I decided to move 200 miles away from my freinds and family to be with him. He had allways told me that he could never move because of his son. He had his son J every other weekend and twice every week. I know that the split from his wife left him very hurt and he loves the the time with his son even though I think his son can be very demanding.
Anyway, I rented out my house, moved up here with my daughter, we then bought a bigger house together etc and I thought I was fine. Money can be tight but I have a very good job which is well paid, (we do work for the same company now but only see each other for aprox 40 mins a day and thats generally at lunch) Recently I became pregnant and weighed up the thought of my now 2.5 year daughter having a sibling at home full time and for life. Money will be a little tight say to speak for the first three years but we will be okay. My work has been very accomdating and allowing me to work 2 days from home (phew!) which allows costs to go down.
Anyway, I have shown him the figures of what we can and cant spend. I have never included his commission every month in these figures etc but things are a tight. He is – or at least should be aware of this by now. I dont spend any money on myself apart from a trim at the hair dressers every 6 – 8 weeks. To enable me to start working from home I have asked him for over 5 months to sort out the internet at the house because its in his name and nothing has been done. I then ended up sorting out the phone line myself and now the internet because I start these two days a week from home on 1st June. Its for the good of him and his son anyway for me to work at home because it reduces his sons after school club costs on the two days a week that we have. It also reduces my daughters as well. Anyway, he seems content on spending more money on further ice skating lessons for his sone which are £42.50 a go. Hes bought him a pair of ice skates as well. Not to mention the £240.00 a month maintenance he pays his ex wife per month. Theres the constant trips to Tesco buying him crap which apparently has come out of his birthday money.I hardly buy anything for my daughter apart from the necessary stuff like clothes etc which are required. I dont receice any money from her father. I have just decorated her room because she had a really ugly room and I am on at him to tell his son about our forth coming arrival. But still he does not say anything. I need to start decorating his sons room and the babys room.
I get frustrated because on the weekends we dont have his son we do work on the house, we never do anything with my daughter. He will say – do something – but I am on the impression that we are supposed to be a family and we do things together. Not just him and the son and then me and my daughter off doing our own things. However when his son comes over he goes off to clubs on Saturday mornings and then off on Sundays with his Dad for skating. We never do anything for my daughter. I am worried that both I, my daughter ( who calls him daddy) and the new born are pushed aside to make way for his son which is not fair on his son or on us.
I find that his son can be very rude, and back chats which I find rude as well. I have mentioned it a few times but recently I have started to hate the child. Which is not his fault I understand. Am I being unreasonable to expect my other half to treat everyone as equal. Its not mine, my daughters or our new arrivals fault that he does not see his son every day. I understand that it must be difficault and alone time with your son is required but not to the extent where others feel left out. The constant spending of money of lessons for ice skating not to mention the £500.00 just spent on season tickets to ice hockey matches this year. It all just seems a bit stupid at the moment.
Hes just bought a new set of leathers for his bike – then he was looking at new helmets. I bought my daughter her first "adult" bed for £40.00 the other day from ebay. Hardly pushing the boat out but I thought it best to get her out of the cot bed so that she did not feel that she was being pushed out by the new baby when it comes. I also bought a plastic chairs and table for outside for everyone to sit on from ebay. I try and do what is for the good of the family but now start to question if I am going mad, being perhaps selfish ? Or is it that I need to sit down and tell him how I feel about his behav
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