4 years ago my husband recieved full custody of his son after a long, and rather painful court battle. The baby at the time was 7 months old. To give a brief backstory on the issue at hand: When my hubby and I started dating, his ex-girlfriend was pregnant with his child. I accepted that and was even there with him 4 days later when his son was born. His son had been born 10 weeks early, and had stopped developing 4 weeks prior to that. The mother refused to take prenatal pills, refused to eat anything other than fast food, she had been drinking and smoking pot and cigarettes while pregnant. Thus causing the complications. She started off by refusing to let my husband be put on the birth cirtificate. He had to fight for that first. Rhen 2 months later when the baby was released fromt he hospital, she started demanding child support but wanted cash not the normal, legal way of handling it through child support enforcement. He refused and instead offered to purchase ANYTHING the baby needed and keep reciepts as proof until legal child support could be established. He spent thousands ont he baby from cribs to diapers to clothes, etc…She still refused to even let him see the baby. Then on days when he was 7 months old..she called and asked if we wanted him permanently til she could get back on her feet after losing a job. Of course we agreed (we were living together by this time). She went 6 months and never called nor asked to see the baby. So my then fiance filed for full custody and the mother flipped out. After a year of court battles, he won the custody and the mother was given visitation every other weekend. Now, to the matter at hand. Since that time. She goes 3-4 months..doesn’t call, doesn’t write…nothing. Until for some reason she gets a wild hair and demands to see her son. My husband is obligated to let her 1. by law…2. he is a law enforcement officer and has to kind of live by the higher standard….moreover, she demands her son call her "mommy"…when he doesn’t even know who she is. He is 4 years old now, hates going to her home, says he doesn’t like staying with strangers. To him, she is a stranger and yells at him when he calls me mommy instead of her. When I am the one who bottle broke, potty trained, calmed his fears, i get up each morning and dress him for preschool…i have been the one there through all the illnesses and complications of being a preemie. It has now been 8 months since her last visit. She forgot his 4th birthday…forgot christmas…she called once to demand him speak to a half-brother he’s never et because it was the brother’s 1st birthday. (she has 4 kids, 4 diffrent fathers….2 of which she has lost custody of)..
The question is…when she calls again, is there ANY legal ground to stand on to deny her visitation???? It is not healthy for once a year, some "stranger" come and demand to swoop up this little boy and demand he call her mommy…when he doesn’t even know who she is. And now that he’s started preschool this week, can she just waltze into the school and pick him up anytime she wants and take him just because she’s the biological mother??? We are concerned over her taking him without permission from the school. She has threatened to do similar things before if we don’t "teach him to call his real mother by mommy and let him call some stupid woman mom instead." (basically if we don’t force him to start colling her mommy she has threatened to take the child away)
Any advice? Any legal ground to stand on for denying her to see him when it’s not mentally healthy for the kiddo for her to just step in when she feels like stirring up trouble??
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